CJ: Glad you liked the video, Muse! I like Sting and the Police a lot myself and that song is one of my favourites, so I found a good excuse to post it! Did you manage to see the reunion tour? I wish I’d seen it but I didn’t get a chance to in the end.

And we tend to alternate between stove and oven, but we do say cooker too. That’s something I’m always doing, feeling like I left the oven on after dinner… it’s a strange feeling, but if it stops a fire one day, then I can live with it. Better to be safe than sorry, eh?

CJ: Thanks, I’ll definitely check it out and join! I’ve known about Last.FM for a while but for some reason got it into my head that you had to live in North America to join, like Pandora. Now I feel silly.

I love that quilt widget on your blog, so I’ll have to have a closer look at that as well. I have a test blog on my own server in case I decide to self-host at some stage; it’ll be fun to play round with.

Do you have tall poppy syndrome in Canada at all?

CJ: Ah, I guess that means you don’t have it in Canada! Tall poppy syndrome is a pejorative term which is common over here. Basically it means that when someone starts to get too successful, people turn against them; once the poppy grows too tall, we cut it down. We often see it in the media; once one of our actors goes to Hollywood, the media starts to focus on negative traits… it’s seen as “humbling” someone for their successes.

There’s an interesting article on TPS here, if you’re interested. It explains the syndrome and the causes behind it, as well as how many of our icons have reacted to it.

Interesting post, CJ..

CJ: That’s interesting, CV. I see passion as being something of a neutral emotion, in that it can be either positive or negative. If I’m passionate about something then I’m more likely to pursue it and that can be a positive; but going too far or being so passionate that I’m blind to the truth can be very destructive. But I like how you see it; it’s much better to be passionate than to feel nothing.

Thanks, CV. You’ve given me a few things to think about. As always.

I think that because there are times when I obsess over one song. Listening to it over and over and over then in parts the voice, then each instrument then learning the lyrics then humming the instrumental part then seeing how diffrent harmonies will go with just that one song, I think it helped my ear musically. Because I can pick up certain things when I hear music live or even on the radio. And being that I want a career in music, I think that’s beneficial to me to have that sort of obsession.

If some of the great minds of this world weren’t at least a little obsessed with science or music or whatever, then alot of the things we have now wouldn’t even be here.

CJ: Hi Dya, thanks for the comment. That’s exactly what I think, that obsession (or at least focus) can be very beneficial to completing a task. We’ve all heard of novels taking years to write (like The Lord of the Rings) and authors who were rejected but persisted… without their commitment, some of their great works would never have seen the light of day. I’m sure that’s true for many musicians as well.

Thanks for stopping by; I’ll be popping across to see your blog later.

I think I have a pretty obsessive, or at least addictive, personality. I get addicted to specific TV shows, webcomics, series of books, bands and computer games. Every time I leave the house, I have to double back to check that I really did lock the front door. Invariably I did, but it’s a peace of mind thing.

I agree that in moderation obsession can be healthy (isn’t that what a hobby is?), although I find that I get even worse writer’s block because I’m obsessed with writing something good. There’s a story I’m working on which I haven’t finished the first chapter of, even though much of the rest of the novel is planned out, because I’m determined to make the first chapter perfect.

One obsession I don’t think is healthy is obsession over a person, as in “Every Breath You Take”. Sometimes it’s got to be better just to move on, right?

So yeah. Interesting post; it’s given me a lot to think about!

CJ: Thanks, Bobby! I’ve always thought of Every Breath You Take being a bit like Alanis Morrisette’s You Oughta Know, great lyrics but dark as hell, but I’d never thought of Climbing Up The Walls… you’re right, it is quite close to that. I still get shivers whenever I hear Climbing Up The Walls.

Writing’s funny like that. You do need to be a little obsessive to block out everything around you and focus on what you want to write. But if you get lost too much in that world, your writing tends to suffer as well… it’s a strange balance. Some days I find it comes easily; others I’m just rewriting the same paragraph again and again. But who said writing’s easy, eh?
And I agree about obsessing over a person. I think obsessing (or focusing) on something can be useful, particularly as a motivator, but it becomes unhealthy when it interferes in your life and other lives. The difference between it and a hobby is that usually you choose a hobby, but obsessions just creep up on you… a habit that’s gone too far. Sometimes it’s better to just let go. Or blog about it. Both are good.

Bottom line, obsessions and lead to productive, explorations.

CJ: Ah, you mean Monk! That’s a good show. It hasn’t been on here for a while, but I like the way they depict Monk’s OCD… like a person with a disorder, not a character being used for a few jokes. Although sometimes they can go a bit too far.
That’s interesting about being a spontaneous obsessive… I’m like that as well; that’s what I meant by breaking the cycle. I do what feels natural and a lot of the time that’s following my routine but not always. Often when I’m reading I’ll finish several books at once, but then won’t read again for a couple of weeks; normally I’ll take the same route home, but sometimes I’ll change it. I can’t explain why, it just feels like the right thing at the time… perhaps it’s being creative. My best ideas and observations come when I’m thinking spontaneously, so I try to keep a balance.

I love spontaneous obsessive, btw. That should go in the dictionary.

as for games, there was once i was so addicted to the sims that i was playing it until four in the morning. it was the holidays, but still…

and if i am infatuated with someone, it can really distract me sometimes. i’ve had my work compromised because i was too busy daydreaming about guys before.

do i obsess over things? hell yeah. and how do i get over them? only in time.

CJ: Wow, you stayed up til 4 playing The Sims? We learn something new about you every day, sulz! It’s a fun game, though, so I can see how the time would just slip away. I played Metal Gear Solid for 14 hours straight once… that was a fun day.
I think the thing about obsessing over things is that often they seem worse in our minds. We go over them again and again to try and understand, but often we’re not facing the real problem… it’s like a strange cycle. Many of the feelings have been hardwired into us, like being attracted to someone or wanting nice things. It shouldn’t seem bad that we’d want them when every day there are ads telling us to buy, TV shows telling us we shouldn’t be alone…

You’re right, though, the only way we get over things is with time… they start to mean less and we begin to move on. We shouldn’t stop dreaming, though… it makes us who we are. And sometimes obsessing a little is just another way of dreaming.

I’ve discovered a couple of things about this particular obsession. The first, is that it comes and goes; some nights are definitely worse than others. The second, is that it has nothing to do with the doors. It’s a manifestation of other insecurities; that’s all. I’m worried I’ll loose my job, or that my wife’s pissed at me, or this or that. I know the doors are locked, but I check them because I can, while I can’t eavesdrop very well on my boss’s thoughts and make sure everything’s kosher there.

And, FWIW, the Puff Daddy version of that song is one of the very, very few covers I actually like more than the original, and for the reasons you point out. “I’ll be missing you” just seems to go so much better with the feeling I get from the song.

CJ: That’s interesting about the doors… I often go out and think I’ve left something on like the iron or the TV, so I know what you mean. Everything we do is for some other reason. It comes from anxiety or fear, or a compulsion we can’t help if we’re sick. I suppose it’s as much about feeling we’re regaining some kind of control as anything else.

I like the Puff Daddy and Faith Evans sample as well. I think it was recorded as a tribute to Notorious B.I.G. after he was murdered, so that might account for the different feeling to the song… it feels quite haunting when I listen to it and very different to Every Breath You Take. Thanks for stopping by.

My nature is to get fired up and passionate about things - but sometimes I have taken passion too far and it became an obsession.

Trying to isolate passion from obsession to determine the difference between them isn’t easy but I do believe we can look at alcohol and cigarettes. Granted that they are “addictive” substances, but some folks are able to have a drink or a smoke now and then without becoming addicted.

I recognize that some of us have genetic heritages and personality cgharacteristics that render us more susceptible to becoming addicted or obsessed.

There are several ‘’significant personality factors” that can contribute to addiction/obsession:

*Impulsive behavior, difficulty in delaying gratification, an antisocial personality and a disposition toward sensation seeking.

* A high value on nonconformity combined with a weak commitment to the goals for achievement valued by the society.

* A sense of social alienation and a general tolerance for deviance.

* A sense of heightened stress.

* Depression.

I believe having a true passion for life can intimidate others so much that it can lead them to believe their “enthusiastic” friends and family members may be obsessed/addicted. There’s also the phenomena that often occurs when people feel the need to justify their own turning away from what could be their own passion by knocking that passion which others are joyously living.

Thanks for posting such an interesting topic to respond to.
CJ: Glad you enjoyed the post, brightfeather. I know what you mean about being passionate and that becoming an obsession; it’s difficult because we should want to feel strongly, passionately about an issue or a person, but the risk is always that we can go too far… I guess it’s a balance and some of us are better at it than others.

Love your new avatar, btw. It’s very vivid.