A Writer's Life

I’m still stunned by the last couple of days. It’s hard to believe we’ve lost two of the most iconic stars of the twentieth century in one day.

I’ve been reading the tributes from around the world for both Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett but I think this one by Cathy Babao Guballa captures the feeling beautifully; that their lives, having achieved so much and touched so many people, should remind us of how fragile life really is, and to enjoy what’s important in our lives every day.

Jackson’s death in particular has affected me. These last two days it’s seemed like he has been everywhere; every shop is playing his music and every now and then you see a small crowd gathered in front of a TV, watching a concert or one of his music videos on DVD before moving on. It’s like everyone wants to be a part of it, to share their memories. The last time I can remember that was with Princess Diana’s death.

I was always more of a casual fan but had great respect for what he achieved, particularly in his early career; breaking down racial barriers long before Oprah, Tiger Woods or Obama, and advancing modern dance to another level. At times watching Jackson dance was like watching a ballerino, he was so graceful; other times he was so raw, primal. He always dominated the stage. I doubt we’ll see someone as multidimensional as he was again.

He was also an underrated songwriter, writing many of his best known songs, and I don’t think anyone (except perhaps The Beatles) could have rivalled the quality of his output during his most successful period, with Off the Wall, Thriller and Bad, and Destiny, Triumph and Victory with The Jacksons.

If I had to choose a favourite song it would probably be Man in the Mirror. It’s a beautiful song about how making a change in the world has to begin with making a change in your own life first. It’s a different side of Jackson where you’re carried into the song by his voice alone; with the events in Iran at the moment, the message seems just as relevant.

As we all know his later life was plagued by bizarre behaviour, and while I’m not excusing it I always felt most of it was due to his childhood. It inspired his creativity but he always seemed desperate for the childhood he had never had… even trying to recapture the appearance of youth through plastic surgery, until it ended up becoming a form of self-mutilation.

But regardless of that, his music endures and will always be with us. He gave millions of people great joy for so many years and that’s the way I want to remember him: so young and vibrant, like a burning star dancing in the sky.

I think it’s Fawcett’s smile I’ll remember best. The majority of her career was before my time but I remember first seeing her in a small role in Logan’s Run, and then in reruns of Charlie’s Angels in the 90s. The thing which struck me about her then and still does now wasn’t so much her beauty but her charm; some people can be physically beautiful but ugly in other ways, but there was just something genuine about her that seemed to shine through.

I always thought she was a better actress than people gave her credit for as well; she was excellent in The Apostle, opposite Robert Duvall, but of course she was more important as a cultural icon in the 70s and how that affected the roles of women. Charlie’s Angels showed that women could be powerful and successful in traditionally male-oriented roles, something few shows had shown before. She also represented something for America at the time; following a bloody war and the Watergate scandal, for everyday Americans she and Charlie’s Angels presented an empowering image and a distraction from the chaos surrounding them. I think that’s why she was so popular with both men and women, particularly with the poster and her fashion.

My enduring memory of Fawcett, though, is of how she continued to handle herself with grace and dignity right up until the end. Even while the media hounded her, and even when the cancer returned, she never gave up and still had that same beautiful smile on her face.

I feel very sorry for her family; her son is my age. Hopefully through her struggle she’ll help to save many more lives.

I guess there are certain days which will always stand out in my memory; like when Kurt Cobain or Michael Hutchence died, or when Heath Ledger or JFK Jr passed away, or Princess Diana. Now I’ll be adding two more names to the list. They’ve left us too soon. But with memories to last a lifetime.

One of the enduring images from the protests in Iran (photo: faramarz)

There’s an old story from The Arabian Nights that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. It tells the story of an ox and a donkey and is one of the stories that comes from the original texts, unlike other stories (like Aladdin and Sinbad) which were added later. It’s told by the vizier to his daughter, Shahrazad, to warn her not to marry the King, but it’s really a warning about what manipulation can cost you in the end.

Once there was a wealthy merchant who lived with his wife and children in the countryside and tended to a farm. He had many servants and workers who helped to make the farm prosperous and Allah had given the merchant a great gift: knowledge of the language of animals, although no one else could know of his gift under punishment of death. And so one day the merchant sat with his wife and children and heard an ox and donkey talking while they fed.

The ox, tired from his hours of ploughing the fields and bleeding from where the ploughman’s whip had split his side, said how he envied the comfort of the donkey, resting all day and feeding from a full, clean trough. The donkey, who thought himself clever and wise, turned to the ox and said that he should not exhaust himself for others; instead he told the ox to feign being sick and refuse his beans until they took pity on him. Life would be kinder to him afterward.

The ox thought this was good advice and thanked the donkey profusely. And so the next morning, when the ploughman led him away to the fields, the ox stumbled. His legs would not carry him; no matter how many times the ploughman tried to urge him on, the ox kept falling and lagging behind. That night when the ox was tied to his trough, he slept without eating. And in the morning when the ploughman returned, he found the ox lying on his back with all four legs raised in the air. He pitied the animal and immediately told his master. The merchant, knowing what had happened, told him to take the donkey to plough the fields instead. So it was that the ploughman took the donkey and put him to work, driving him with the fierce crack of the whip until his side bled and his neck was flayed and his ears drooped in exhaustion. Meanwhile the ox rested and ate, giving thanks for the donkey’s advice.

Finally, at nightfall, the donkey returned from the fields. The ox rose to thank the donkey for taking his place but the donkey ignored him, he was so angry. ‘All this happened to me because of my miscalculation,’ the donkey thought to himself. ‘I would be sitting pretty if not for my curiosity. If I don’t find a way to return the ox to his former station, I will perish.’ He went to lie down, scheming, while the ox continued to thank him and Allah for his good fortune.

Thousands gather in Isfahan in a rally to support Mousavi (photo: faramarz)

Like everyone I’ve been following the events in Iran closely this past week and I suppose it’s because I’ve always liked allegories that that story has stuck in my mind. It’s not hard to see the protesters as the ox, desperate for change, and the Iranian authorities as the donkey, more concerned with their own self-interests. It’s probably also because I’ve always interpreted this story a little differently than other people; where most people see the donkey as trying to help the ox (at least at first), I think he was just trying to show how clever he was, believing he was more important than all of the other animals. That was the donkey’s miscalculation; he overreached and lost his position. That’s true of Iran as well; the authorities are still clinging to the old ways, even when for many people the old ways are gone.

I think that’s why the protesters are so angry, that unwillingness to adapt when society is moving forward, and I admire what the protesters are doing. It’s believed that more than two-thirds of Iran’s population is under the age of 30; these are people my age, standing up for a cause they believe in, and challenging not just their government and supreme leader but their very social system. For that they are being shot at, beaten, arrested, killed; and still they manage to get news out to the world; still the cries of Allahu Akbar ring out each night. I can only imagine the courage they’re showing; to go from being afraid to hold hands in public to openly defying Ayatollah Khamenei, just a few weeks ago it would have been unthinkable. But the crackdown is getting much more violent and I fear it will only get worse again in the coming days.

What is happening now in Iran is inexcusable. Whether the election was stolen or not (and we may never know for certain, although there is mounting evidence, as the Washington Post alleged), no government should turn its forces on its own people, let alone on unarmed innocents involved in a peaceful protest. Suppressing ideas doesn’t make them go away; they are only forced underground to spread in different ways. The use of force only shows the true colours of the Iranian government and what little respect it has for its own people. The world is watching events unfold and while that may mean little to the authorities, their actions won’t soon be forgotten.

Much of what’s happening reminds me of Tiananmen Square. Not just the scale of the protests and the demand for change but the students and intellectuals forming the core of the rallies, the role of new media in spreading news as it breaks – with faxes and mobile phones in Tiananmen, with the Internet and social networking in Iran. It’s becoming a similar standoff that neither side seems willing to budge from; but no matter what happens with the crackdown, you get the feeling that culturally Iran has passed a point of no return, whether the authorities admit it or not.

A fire burns in the streets of Tehran after a rally to support Mousavi (photo: faramarz)

What’s been interesting about the protests is how the demands of the protesters have evolved as the situation has deepened. There was an interesting commentary by William Pfaff last week, during the start of the mass rallies, which offered a good analysis of what the protests were about at that time. It was what I felt as well. Watching the protests and following the tweets from Iran, it didn’t feel like the movement was a threat to the Islamic Republic itself; some figures in the government (like Ahmadinejad and others allied with the Revolutionary Guard) were under threat but what was being challenged by Mousavi and his supporters was more the form the system had taken in the last decade than the system itself.

It stated as more of a revolt about the role the Islamic system should have in modern society, and the main issues for the protesters were the legitimacy of the election and the points the opposition had contested the election on – mainly democratic freedom, for young people to be able to enjoy more individual and personal freedom without fear of reprisal. The debate was as much about reform within the system as democracy.

But as the crackdown has escalated and the bloodshed and outrage have spread, the demands have intensified. Now the protesters want justice for the dead as well as democratic freedom and they are defiant, resurrecting the chants from the 1979 revolution and even calling for the death of Ayatollah Khamenei, a man who has been untouchable in Iran for 20 years.

Likewise there are signs of cracks appearing in the system as some of the senior clerics are divided. Today Grand Ayatollah Montazeri warned that the continued suppression of the protesters would create frustrations which could lead to the overthrow of the government and endanger the Islamic Republic. Though a critic of Khamenei, Montazeri is considered the highest authority of Shi’ite Islam in Iran and his word carries considerable weight.

That the protests have evolved this far in such a short time is remarkable. I still don’t think another revolution in Iran is likely – I’ve yet to see the protests reach the kind of critical mass amongst the rest of Iran’s populace for that to be possible and given the reliance upon state-run media, it’s unlikely that will happen – but that it even seems like it could be possible, after so many years of repression, is more than anyone could have predicted. The supreme leader and the government have been challenged in a way that has severely damaged their authority and, regardless of what happens, Iran won’t be the same.

A man bleeding after the violent crackdown on protesters (photo: faramarz)

How much longer the government will allow that divide to be visible, though, is unknown. The crackdown is already taking a toll on the opposition movement and it’s feasible that a further push by security forces could seriously damage it; there were reports of smaller crowds recently but of particularly brutal clashes near parliament, while others who have been arrested have reportedly recanted after being threatened and one former presidential candidate has also withdrawn complaints he made about the electoral process. Some people, like the New York Times’ Roger Cohen, are calling it the end of the first phase of the uprising and given the overwhelming forces the protesters are now facing, you’d have to think he’s right.

I think whatever happens the opposition movement will survive in some form and the culture in Iran will gradually begin to shift (as I said, you can’t suppress an idea when it has spread to so many people), but in the short term the protesters will have to change their tactics. Their only option now is a more cautious approach and to remain unified; they have to clearly distinguish between what they and the authorities stand for and they need to be prepared for a war of attrition. That may mean calling for national strikes, overwhelming the bazaars, and abandoning many of the symbols that have come to be associated with the protest to become less identifiable.

In the end the only way for a movement to have any success against an oppressive regime is to fully commit to a prolonged campaign of non-violence, to not engage the regime on their terms. That means knowingly placing themselves and their families in danger day after day and finding new ways to protest, and that takes immense courage and perseverance. But some in the opposition, like former President Khatami, seem to have recognised that if they’re to continue then that has to be the next phase. Facing overwhelming force, it’s either that or back down.

Riot police watch over a group of protesters in Tehran (photo: faramarz)

I think that’s why it’s important that the rest of the world continues to show its support as well. The gestures of solidarity, particularly on Twitter and Facebook, have been overwhelming during the last week and have also been helping to keep people informed. Some people have been deriding that as largely meaningless but I don’t agree. While I agree it’s a simple thing to change an avatar or post a comment, for most people the gesture means something more; it shows people standing together and saying that you’re not alone, that your rights matter as much as ours.

But it will become even more important if the protests wear on. No protest, no matter how significant, can produce real social change in 12 days; the civil rights movement didn’t change attitudes in days, nor did South Africa overcome apartheid in weeks. Real change takes time and there will be times when the protesters will need to know the world hasn’t forgotten them. It’s important that we don’t. While the world is watching Iran, there’s still some hope for a resolution and an end to the violence.

It’s also important, though, that we are responsible and don’t lose our judgement. I’ve seen people on blogs and Twitter blaming Islam for what’s happening in Iran, which is totally unacceptable and reminds me of the ignorant reaction after 9/11. I’ve also seen people demonising those who disagree with them. We need to remember that while what the authorities are doing is terrible and there are serious questions about the legitimacy of the election, there will still have been millions of people who voted legitimately for Ahmadinejad. If this is a truly democratic movement, those people also deserve to have a voice and don’t deserve to be shouted down by Westerners. Likewise we (both individuals and governments) need to be careful not to directly interfere in the democratic process that’s taking place; we can support the protesters and condemn the violence, certainly, but the future is in the hands of the Iranian people; we’re just observers.

And if we truly care about democracy, we also need to remember that there are other injustices in the world as well. I wonder how many people are also aware of Liu Xiaobo’s arrest in China or know the full details about the protests in Peru which are also happening at the moment? At least 50 people have been killed and over 100 injured so far, although the death toll could be far higher. The indigenous people of the Amazon are one of the oldest civilisations of the Americas and they have been exploited throughout history. It’s hard to believe it’s happening again. But it barely makes news.

A young woman flashes a green victory sign (photo: faramarz)

I’m not sure what will happen next in Iran. I still hope it may reach a more peaceful resolution, with either a new election or a compromise, but after the violence has escalated I’m not at all optimistic. I also think the one thing that is making it difficult for the Iranian government to put down the protest is the world’s attention and I’m concerned that our interest will wane over time, as it has with other issues. If that happens then the situation really might become another Tiananmen.

For what it’s worth, though, I want to add my voice to those supporting the protesters and condemning the violence. I’m just one person, one voice, but I believe that democracy and freedom are universal rights and I’ll always stand with people to defend them.

I am also planning to write to the Australian government to urge them to accept protesters and their families into the Australian embassy in Tehran. There were reports during the bloody June 20 protest that the Australian embassy gave aid to protesters but there’s been no confirmation from our government. Personally I think it’s the least we can do.

Click on an image to download from Flickr

If anyone would like to show their support as well, I’ve made some badges which you can put on your blog. I wanted something which I could use more long-term than the Twitter avatars.

There is also a petition at Avaaz if you want to do something more practical, and several sources from within Iran are asking people to write to the United Nations to request a new election for Iran. Amnesty International is also urging people to write to the Iranian Ambassador in their own countries.

There is also a Bloggers Unite event planned next week, to help raise awareness about the situation and offer support for a free Iran. I’ll be taking part in it (I’ll most likely be writing a poem) and have done a couple of these before. If you’d like to take part, it’s a great way to show your support.

Bloggers Unite for a Free Iran: Monday June 29th

I thought I’d finish with one of my favourite videos from YouTube. It’s a cover of Stand By Me by singers from many different countries and is part of a multimedia project called Playing for Change, which promotes peace and understanding around the world through music.

I think it’s something we could all use at the moment.

One of my favourite parts of Sydney is the Powerhouse Museum. Sydney has many interesting museums and galleries but there’s just something special about the Powerhouse. It’s existed in several forms for over 130 years (once even sharing a room with a hospital morgue) and it’s full of history. I could lose myself for hours just wandering around if I had enough time.

Recently there have been a couple of new exhibitions at the Powerhouse I’ve wanted to see, including one from the Star Wars films. With my health I hadn’t felt up to going earlier but I finally managed to go a few weeks ago with MQ, just before the Star Wars exhibit closed. It was interesting seeing the costumes; they’re actually very detailed, much more than you can see on-screen. And seeing Darth Vader was fun.

The other exhibit was the Inspired! Design Across Time exhibit, which was excellent and free. It looks at the history of art and design through different eras and has some wonderful displays. I enjoy studying design; some people may remember I designed my library units, so I found it fascinating.

I took some photos of both exhibits to share. Some came out better than others; I’m still learning how to use my camera and the damn flash keeps getting in the way. But they’re not too bad overall. Hope you enjoy them.

These are all from the Inspired! Design Across Time exhibit. The photo of the bench is my favourite; it’s from the crafts revival and there’s just something very rustic and Australian about the display, blending with the background.

I also like the mosaic. It was made by Pierre Cavalan from recycled materials and each panel is embossed with a stylised face in a different expression. It’s very beautiful and must have been painstaking to create.

What was particularly interesting about the exhibit was following the evolution in design, particularly the rapid advances toward contemporary art. Art and design have changed so much over the years but what was obvious was how the same influences keep reappearing, just in different forms.

These are from the Star Wars: Where Science Meets Imagination exhibit. It had a mix of costumes and props from the Star Wars films, as well as displays of real world technology similar to the science from the films.

Seeing the costumes and props was interesting; you get an appreciation for the detail that goes into creating them that you can’t really see on-screen. But it was a little disappointing overall. The exhibit was quite poorly lit (which also made the photos darker) and the idea didn’t feel that plausible. Star Wars isn’t really about science.

Probably my favourite costumes were of Princess Leia and the droids, which were still in good condition. And Vader’s but that seemed to have aged more.

And what’s a day out without a nice meal to go with it? These photos were actually from a few weeks earlier as I didn’t get to photograph it in time but it was the same meal, except with more veggies on the pizza – I’d run out here.

And yes, I made it myself. I can cook quite well, believe it or not. The meringue was lovely too.

Click here to take the “Which Star Trek character am I?” quiz

This is just a quick update as it’s been a while since my last post. To be honest I didn’t realise it had been so long; I’ve had a lot on my mind these last few months and haven’t felt up to blogging until now.

I haven’t been feeling well for several months; my health has been very poor and I haven’t been sleeping well again. While I am coping, this last year has been exhausting as it’s just been one thing after another… I’ve had to cut back on the amount of time I spend online to adjust.

We also recently learnt of the death of an old friend. Belinda was like an aunt to me when I was younger and was a dear friend of my mother; it’s brought back a lot of memories and we’re all feeling her loss.

But I’m trying not to dwell too much. I’m feeling a little better now and tomorrow I’m seeing the new Star Trek film with MQ, which is something I’ve been looking forward to for a long time. I grew up with the more recent Star Trek series but it’s always been the relationships between the original characters that made me a fan and have defined Star Trek; to see Kirk, Spock and McCoy again after all these years should be a lot of fun.

Star Trek has needed refreshing for a while now and it looks like they’ve found the right dynamic with a young cast and a new approach. This Trek can have a wide appeal and it reminds me a little of Batman Begins; build word of mouth for a sequel and hopefully that will do even better once people realise that this isn’t the same kind of Trek.

The thing about Star Trek, which a lot of people don’t get if they think it’s geeky and boring, is that what it’s actually about isn’t science but humanity. Star Trek at its best gives us an optimistic view of humanity; it was born out of the 1960s as a counterpoint to issues like racism, sexism, communism, and war, showing us that whatever our differences, we can overcome them and unite in peace, a view that was well ahead of its time.

That’s the message which has always made me a fan; that the future can be better, if we want it to be. It looks different but as long as the new film keeps that message in some way, then I’ll be happy. And I think it will. That message of hope is just as relevant now, in a post-September 11 world, as it was in 1966.

This is one of the few films I’ll probably be able to see this year, but hopefully it will be the beginning of a new era for Trek. So I thought I’d post a fun quiz as well to celebrate the release of the film.

I wonder which character you are? Apparently I’m most like Spock. I guess that makes sense; I do tend to be quite logical. Not sure about the ears, though. I don’t think they’d suit me.

Update: Just found a fun website that can change your photo into a Star Trek character. Mine is here. As I said, the Vulcan ears definitely don’t suit me!

Update #2: Just got back from seeing it a few hours ago. It was excellent. Even better than the hype, actually, which was a surprise. I’ll post a review on my other blog tomorrow but it’s very different and probably the best Star Trek film so far. Highly recommended.

Image: Fire in Upper Ferntree Gully ~ jsarcadia

This is a follow up to the poem I posted earlier about Black Saturday and the bushfires in Victoria. I wrote the poem as a way of trying to move through the horror I felt in the days following the tragedy. There were so many images, so many stories, it was overwhelming and this felt like the only way I could make sense of it. Writing has always been cathartic for me and while I would have liked to have done more with it, I think the simplicity suits the poem… the starkness seems to capture the devastation of what happened.

It’s one week later now and in many ways I still don’t know what to make of it all. I have lived through several bushfires before but none as ferocious as this; it was like the entire southern coast of Australia was on fire and there was smoke around Sydney for days, as well as the overwhelming scents of various native plants, which will always remind me of the fires now.

The tolls keep increasing; 1,800 homes have been destroyed and 181 people have lost their lives so far – that may go as high as 300. As someone who respects the Australian landscape so much, to see it so devastated is awful; some parts of Victoria resemble craters more than bushland and over a million animals may have perished. Many fires are believed to have been caused by arson as well. For that terrible day, it truly was hell on Earth.

Am I angry? I’m more sad than anything else. Sad at the loss of life and property; sad that in many cases the warning signs weren’t heeded. Sad that it’s taken another tragedy for us to realise how fragile life can be. I’m also very grateful for the amount of good that people are doing, the way they’re helping and coming together; the donations and support, making quilts and toys, auctions for charities, giving blood. The way people have responded, here and overseas, has been incredible and filled me with a lot of hope.

I do understand the anger, though. When so many lives have been lost and homes destroyed, you feel helpless and anger is a natural response. I think we need to be careful not to deflect blame, though. There’ll be time for a closer examination of what went wrong but right now it seems like arson is all the media cares about. Arson is awful but we shouldn’t be so fast to deflect all of our anger onto it – there’ll be many factors contributing to this tragedy and what we really want is to make sure this never happens again, rather than to strike out in vengeance. Right now we need time to grieve.

Sam the koala and firefighter David Tree

For me I think this photo is going to be the main image that stays with me from these fires. It’s amazing; the koala almost looks like a baby being fed from a bottle, and the fireman is being so gentle. There’s been some confusion about when exactly it was taken but it’s still an image that shows you how devastating fire can be and the compassion it can bring out in people. It shows that even in the darkest of situations you can find some hope, which I wanted to reflect in my writing as well.

Sam and her rescuer seem to have become the global face of the bushfires; I know the photo has been featured in a lot of blogs and newspapers around the world. That’s largely because there has been so little good news coming out of these fires and something like this really raises all of our spirits, which is what we need right now.

That’s why I was disappointed when TMZ mocked the photo recently. I detest TMZ anyway but mocking a selfless gesture – twice – when people have died and lost their homes seems very tasteless. How about some sensitivity for what people are going through? That’s TMZ for you, I guess.

At least we know Sam is being cared for now and hopefully will recover. Sadly many other animals haven’t been as lucky. They are the forgotten victims in this tragedy, in many ways.

In any case, I wanted to post this and my poem today to mark the week since the tragedy. I’ve not been able to concentrate on much else; everything else seems rather trivial at the moment, particularly when you think about the amount of money spent on Valentine’s Day when people have nothing.

I hope my poem is respectful; I wanted to try and work through that day in my mind and to be evocative of the landscape. I hope in some small way it speaks for what we’re all feeling at the moment.

I don’t think any of us can ever really understand what it must have been like on that day but I found this video by someone who filmed the Churchill fire; it killed 21 people, 1 near where she was filming at Jeeralang. It really brings the impact home, particularly when you hear the wind howling.

It really was hell on Earth.