A Writer's Life

This is my first post in a while. I haven’t been feeling well and to make things worse I’ve been having computer problems as well. I can barely use my computer at the moment; it makes a constant grinding noise and just crashes without warning. I even lost some of my work yesterday when it crashed. No backups. Ouch. I’ve been putting it off but I’ll have to get it looked at later this week. Hopefully it won’t be too expensive to fix.

I’ve got a pile of emails and comments in my inbox I haven’t been able to get to yet (sorry!) but one good thing is it’s given me more time to write. I’ve finally been able to develop a few ideas further and I also started an early draft of a new story which is going well so far.

One of the stories I’ve been working on is based on an older idea, about a man who wakes from a coma only to find that the world he knew is gone. I haven’t had much time to work on it previously but I’ve always liked the idea and wanted to develop it further. At its heart it’s about exploring our world through the eyes of a stranger and it’s still only in the early stages but already it feels quite different to anything I’ve written before. I could see it being a novel one day.

I’ve been doing some research for the story (when my computer’s been working anyway), looking at how different trends change over time, and The Commons on Flickr has been an excellent resource. If you don’t use Flickr, The Commons is a photographic archive from different institutions around the world and it’s been fascinating looking at the collections, seeing how things like architecture, fashion and hairstyles have evolved over time.

The Powerhouse Museum and the NSW State Library are both part of The Commons and some of the images of Sydney are incredible; they date back to the beginning of the 20th century, some to even earlier when the colony was still forming. Most of the buildings don’t exist anymore and it’s an incredible insight into what life was really like back then.

The photo above is one of my favourites. It dates back to around 1920 and is of Marie-Celeste de Villentroy, the daughter of a photographer in Sydney at the time. It’s a beautiful portrait, hand-coloured. It’s also one of the few times I’ve seen the Red Ensign flag used so noticeably.

I spent Australia Day looking through The Commons last week and as I haven’t posted in a while, I thought it’d be fun to post some of my favourites photos. To share a little history. Most are of common landmarks in Sydney and should be familiar to people overseas.

There are quite a few photos, so I’ve posted more after the break. Enjoy.

This photo is of Market Street in the CBD, around 1875. The buildings were made of weatherboard and sanitation was a notorious problem in the area. You can see how the plague spread so rapidly a few years later. Rent was 21 shillings.

A view of Sydney from the old General Post Office in Martin Place (1900), in the central CBD. Many of these buildings were knocked down for development during the 1900s. The GPO was privatised in 1996 and now houses shops and cafes.

Martin Place, circa 1900. Martin Place was originally Moore Street and has changed a lot in 100 years but much of it is still recognisable. It was closed to traffic in 1971 and is now a pedestrian mall.

Queen Victoria Markets (1900), now the Queen Victoria Building. The QVB is one of my favourite buildings in Sydney; it’s mostly untouched and the inside has been carefully restored with many of its original features.

More photos after the break

Today was Australia Day, which is Australia’s official national day. It’s a public holiday and commemorates the arrival of Captain Phillip and the First Fleet in 1788. For most people it is an opportunity to display our national pride and you’ll often see flags in windows and people wearing green and gold at barbecues and lunches. It’s a patriotic day that brings unity despite our many differences: the one day where we are just Australian.

For me Australia Day holds a slightly different meaning. I am proudly Australian but my parents were originally English; they lived in Australia for more than 15 years before becoming Australian citizens themselves. Witnessing their citizenship ceremony was one of the proudest moments of my life. But perhaps because of that I have always preferred a quieter observation; while other people attend festivals I prefer to take time thinking about what Australia means to me, how far we’ve come and still have to go.

Something I always do around this time is to look back through some of our old photographs and I found this one earlier. I can’t believe it but it must be almost 20 years old now; I still remember some of that day, near the harbour and the botanic gardens. We had ice cream afterwards. And yes, that is me in the picture. I was 4 years old. Ugly little bugger, wasn’t I?

Of all the photographs we have this is one of my favourites, not just because it captures the memories I still have of that day but also because it’s like a snapshot of how I see Australia. To me Australia isn’t a nation in the sense that America is; we’re much younger and don’t have the same history and culture behind us. We’re still growing and finding our identity and culture. That’s what I see in the photo: that I would grow, and Australia would as well.

Over the last 20 years Australia has changed a lot and it has been interesting watching those changes unfold. To be frank some of them have disturbed me, particularly as our civil liberties have unravelled, but we’ve also made progress. The apology to Indigenous Australians last year was a watershed moment in our development as a nation and raises the real possibility for reconciliation one day. That indigenous leader Mick Dodson was named Australian of the Year this year is another step towards that.

But we’re not there yet. There are still a lot of obstacles in the way and Australia Day itself is one of them. Some people think the date should be changed from January 26 so it includes all Australians and I agree; many Aboriginal Australians consider it to be “Invasion Day” and to have a national day which isn’t inclusive of the first Australians seems culturally insensitive to me and always has. Federation Day, January 1st, 1901, seems more suitable, the day we gained interdependence from Britain.

But when I think of all we’ve achieved as a young country, though – from the biggest townships to the smallest farms, from the beaches of Gallipoli to the villages of East Timor -, it makes me extremely proud. We’re a country that came about partially by accident; under other circumstances we could have been a Dutch or French settlement and if not for the American Revolution the events of our colonisation by Britain would’ve been very different. As the descendants of convicts, we’ve developed a stable democracy and are slowly moving towards becoming a republic. That is not a bad start for any country.

Today the thing I find myself thinking about the most is our landscape. That’s what I noticed most looking at that photograph, how after 20 years the harbour is still the same… the water the same brilliant blue. I think it’s something a lot of us take for granted; for many of us Australia is just there but how many of us have really seen it, have seen Kakadu or Kings Canyon? I know I hope to at some stage, to see Uluru at sunset and the ancient art in the Abrakurrie caves. I think it’s our landscape which defines our identity and it’s what I’m most grateful for.

There’s one song that always comes to mind when I think of Australia. It’s Icehouse’s Great Southern Land. I couldn’t hope for a better song to post on Australia Day. Hope you enjoy it.

Wherever you are in the world I wish you peace, hope and a Happy Australia Day. Here’s hoping one day it’ll be Happy Republic Day – a day we can all celebrate as one.

I like memes. I know some people don’t but I think a good meme can say a lot about a person without revealing too much. So thanks to Sulz and Ella for tagging me for this one. Looks like fun.

5 things found in your bag (I’ll use my messenger bag)

• Sunglasses
• iPod and headphones
• Notepad and pen
• Latest book I’m reading (The Road by Cormac McCarthy)
• Chewing gum (or mints)

5 favourite things in your room

• Bookcases & books
  I had these custom made a few years ago; the carpenters loved them so much they’re using the design. Should I get a commission?

• LCD TV
  I bought this when my insomnia started so I could watch DVDs. I love it; it’s a Panasonic 26″ and it’s like having my own home cinema.

• Writing desk
  I found this secondhand and grabbed it; it’s a rolltop desk, something I’ve always wanted. It’s where I do all my writing; poetry, letters, blog posts… isn’t it a beautiful colour?

• Statues & figures
  I love old myths and I’ve been collecting these statues for a few years. These Egyptian ones are made from cold cast resin; the detail is stunning. I also have a collection of pewter statues.

• King Arthur Tapestry
  This is my favourite piece. It’s based on a William Morris tapestry; the knights have left their shields in the woods, searching for the unicorn.

5 things you have always wanted to do

• Open a bookshop
  This is something I’d love to do, open a secondhand bookshop with a cafe and author readings… books are what I know best, so I couldn’t think of a better way to make a living. CJ’s Classics sounds good, eh?

• Have a novel published
  This is an obvious one. I haven’t written anything that I’d send away yet, but maybe it’ll happen. I’m very happy with Sleepless and The Galleon; they’re very different to anything I’ve written before.

• Finish Atlas Shrugged
  I tried reading Rand’s novel in school but couldn’t finish it. It’s something I really should read, so I’ll have to have another go.

• See more of the world
  I haven’t travelled much beyond Europe. I’d love to see the US and Egypt, especially the Pyramids… I’d love to see Wimbledon live as well.

• Think of the perfect comeback
  You know when someone insults you and you wish you had the perfect retort? I always think of it later; just once I’d love to say it right back.

5 things you are currently into

• Cut Copy
  Cut Copy are like a cross between INXS, The Bee Gees and Daft Punk. It sounds odd but they’re actually very good. Their new album is excellent.

• Indiana Jones
  I’ve been trying to avoid spoilers for Indy 4 for months and I loved the trailer. Don’t know if it’ll be like the others but it looks like fun!

• Tetris
  I loved Tetris when I was younger and I’ve been playing it again for the last few weeks. Now I’m addicted. It’s so simple but a lot of fun.

• Audiobooks
  I’ve liked audiobooks for years but I’ve really got into them recently. I just bought Steve Martin’s The Pleasure of My Company and it’s narrated by Martin as well, which is an added bonus.

• Natalie Portman
  Because she’s Natalie Portman. Do I need another reason?

5 people you want to tag
And if you don’t feel like taking part, that’s fine. No pressure.

• Bharat
• Sanjida
• Maribeth
• Dya
• Lynn

I came across this photo on Stock.Xchang earlier and fell in love with it. I love how the tree spreads to fill the image and is framed against the ocean’s glare, how the ocean blends into the sky. The empty bench seems almost sad as well, like there’s no one there to appreciate the beauty… I’m a bit of an amateur photographer and it makes me feel jealous!

What it reminds me of more than anything is summer. It just feels bright and summery. I like the summer months. Well, I don’t enjoy the heat; sometimes it tops 40° C in Sydney and not many people enjoy that. But I like the feeling that comes with summer, the extra light and warmth wiping away the last cobwebs of winter. I love the fresh smell in the air; the lazy days running into one another; sitting under a tree, watching the people go by.

Whenever I think of summer it brings back my adolescence. Some of my fondest memories come from the summer months, on days just like the one in the photo. Playing cricket with my father in the school nets; watching the tennis on TV and playing on the weekends under the hot sun. Listening to Rob Thomas’s and Santana’s Smooth. Drinking a half-melted Calippo, biting into a juicy peach… walks along the beach, the sun gleaming off the ocean.

I cherish those memories but thinking about them also makes me feel sad in a way. I’m at the age where I’m accepting more responsibility and control in my life, but the trade-off is that those days are behind me. I’m happy with who I am but sometimes I miss that feeling. Not wanting to see the world through younger eyes, but to be more carefree and not let things get to me so much. In some ways I wish I could stay forever young.

I love Alphaville’s Forever Young. It was released the year I was born and it’s such a haunting song. There are a couple of lines I’ve always related to.

Some are like water, some are like the heat
Some are a melody and some are the beat
Sooner or later they all will be gone
Why don’t they stay young?

I’ve always thought the lyrics aren’t just about staying young and growing older but also about beauty…. I’ve noticed recently that I don’t look at the world in the same way as I did before. That’s not necessarily bad, but what I used to stop and notice around me now I don’t notice as often. My life has more priorities; I have less time to sit and watch the world go by. I find that sad… if I can’t find time to appreciate beauty, what’s the point of all the rest?

People say that you’re only as old as you feel inside and I know what they mean… I think for as long as I live my heart will remember how I felt during those golden summers and I’ll never lose it. But there is a danger in that as well. It’s simple to value the past so much that we become lost in it; that we’d want to spend more time with our memories and watching old TV series than experiencing the present. That’s something I never want to do; I value life and my journey too much for that. What I think staying forever young really means is holding onto the joys of our life as we move forward; if we can do that, then we are never old. And if our memory lives on, we never die.

The photo reminded me of that, the empty bench looking out at the ocean… and it reminded me again that I need to take more time to look at the world around me, its beauty. As a writer I’ve been looking at the world in terms of people, but that’s only a small part of life.

Strange how something as simple as a photo could touch me so much. But then beauty comes in all forms; it’s our job to recognise it. And I was lucky enough to this time.

I hate having my photo taken. I’m one of those people who either comes up well in a photo or very badly; if I have warning then I’m okay, but if you spring it on me I end up looking like Quasimodo. It’s worse at Christmas; there’s always some party to go to or family coming round, and there’s always someone with a camera lurking around waiting to steal my soul.

A lot of people feel like that with photos, but I probably take it a step further… what’s interesting though is that most people seem to come up better when it’s a spontaneous photo than when they’re posed. Catching someone in a moment just makes them seem more natural and it’s closer to the memory we want to keep.

I’ve been printing some photos for a friend over the last few days and the same thing’s true again. There are over 160 photos and most of them have come out well, but the ones which are stunning were all taken when they didn’t know they were being photographed. There was one photo of a couple of my friends that just jumped out at me; it’d be impossible to make them ugly but it seemed to capture the smile in their eyes, and that’s how I’ve always known them. None of the other photos caught that.

You often hear people say that it’s what’s on the inside that makes someone beautiful. It’s said so often that it’s become a cliché, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true. When I think of beauty I don’t usually think of someone’s appearance… well, that’s not quite true. My first instinct is to look at that, if they’re presentable, attractive, but I’m more interested in their personality and who they are. I think someone can be very attractive but not beautiful. Someone who is a racist or have repugnant ideas could be the most fair person in the world but would still be undesirable and ugly in a much worse way.

That’s one reason I don’t like it when people say someone is sexy. Certainly someone can be sexy and it can be a compliment, but I’m not a fan of how it’s overused; sexy, sexed up, I find that’s more about lust and desire than anything empowering. Hearing that governments “sexed up” reports just sets my teeth on edge. I guess I’ve always thought of beauty as what we represent as a whole, while someone’s attractiveness (or sexiness) is more related to their appearance.

Those photos seemed to capture that beauty; more than just the appearance, it caught the light in their eyes, a smile, a laugh… it transcended the rest. Unfortunately it doesn’t work for me, but I think those kind of photos definitely seem to cast most people in a good light.

What all this makes me wonder, though, is how do we define beauty today? Has it changed, the definition evolved? I think the way beauty and sexy are used interchangeably now suggests that it has. One example would be Maxim’s recent list of the world’s 5 unsexiest women; Sarah Jessica Parker came first. I still don’t understand that. Maybe Jessica Alba is the current It Girl, but I don’t find SJP unattractive at all. I think there’s something to be said for having a little elegance and class; calling her horse faced is just cruel.

But that’s part of the culture we live in now. Appearances matter more than ever and our definition of beauty is skin deep. As long as we’re presentable and look a certain way, then someone will like us enough that we’ll feel good about ourselves…

I wonder what you think. How do you define beauty and looks? What makes you beautiful? I’d be interested to find out.